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Facing setbacks and disappointments – Take some time to change what is not working

Written by Easter Becker-Smith. Posted in Featured, Health & Wellness

Published on April 23, 2014 with No Comments

Facing Setbacks and DisappointmentsAs I am writing today, I am looking at the unexpected April snowfall. It really was not unexpected, though. I knew that with the harsh winter we had, we could anticipate snow in April, even with the daffodils making their annual appearance. It is a minor setback, a chilly and icy start to a day that will warm up and melt most of the snow.

It is all on how you look at disappointments and setbacks. You can go back to bed and cover up your head or move forward with your day. Such is life. Life provides days of disappointments and days of pure joy.

When a disappointment peeks around the corner, or rears its ugly head, or stands boldly in your way like a solid brick wall that you cannot see around or above, what do you do?

First, recognize that everyone faces obstacles.

Talk to someone who you think is very successful or even lucky and ask if they ever faced any setbacks or disappointments. They will probably laugh and say, “I have faced plenty,” or “Many, many times I have dealt with disappointment.”

Even giant companies like Apple face setbacks. Remember their launch of the IPhone 5S? It has the fingerprint sensor that eliminates using a password.  Apple was so excited about introducing their new innovation, but it was just a couple of days after the phone hit the market that someone figured out how to copy the fingerprint and access entry to the phone. There have been other problems with the fingerprint recognition, too. It was a bit of an embarrassment to the Apple Company.

Did Apple decide to just hang it up, go hide or sell the company? No, that would, of course, be absurd. You know that they are busy working to change what is not working, make it better and introduce new products to the market place.

When we face our own setbacks, we can respond with the same resiliency. If you did not get the job you wanted, it is time to change something. That can mean looking at different avenues to find job opportunities. It can mean seeking a new path where your skill set will apply. Maybe the road to success is improving your interviewing skills so you can better sell yourself.

Likewise, if you did not get the promotion that you thought you deserved, it is time to change something. Is there something you can do better on the job so that next time you will be promoted? Is there a new skill you need to learn? Is there a different way you need to communicate with co-workers and supervisors that will enable you to reach the next level?

The following are steps you can take when you have not accomplished what you wanted or had a setback and you know it is time to do something differently:

•Take time to stop, and silently reflect.

•Become self-aware. Be willing to see where you can improve.

•Think about what you can do differently, that will increase your chance for success.

•Ask others that you respect for their opinions.

When you ask for someone’s opinion of what you could do differently to achieve your goal be sure to:

•Be open-minded.

•Be ready to really listen and hear what someone has to say.

•Be ready to learn something that can be helpful to you.

What you do not want to do when someone is giving you advice as to what to do differently:

•Become defensive and try to explain why you made the decisions did.

•Interrupt and talk about what you think.

•Decide right away that their suggestions are not going to work.

Any change can be painful. Doing the same thing and getting the same unwanted results is more painful.

When you face setbacks, recognize them as such and do something different. Do something that will bring better results.

The sun is shining now. The daffodils are still growing and popping up through the rapidly melting snow. I see that some are bending, leaning toward the sun. The sun did not quite reach their area of shade. They had to change direction a bit, just bend a bit to meet the glorious sun. Now they are on their way to a wonderful full bloom.

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About Easter Becker-Smith

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All opinions, conclusions or recommendations expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Chronicle. Easter Becker-Smith provides coaching for individuals, groups and corporate teams.  She coaches individuals to help them discover their own path to balance and fulfillment in their lives.  She brings her years of experience in business as a highly regarded leader to help companies improve their productivity and efficiency by learning how to better communicate with each other.  Visit her website at www.coacheaster.com.

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