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Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws

Written by Verne R. Sanford. Posted in Community News, Senior Living

Published on August 05, 2015 with No Comments

Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws

1. Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

9. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

 

Valparaiso Low Vision Support Group

Upcoming Meetings

Tues., August 11 from 6 to 8 p.m.

Picnic Social Night, VFW Shelter – 705 N. Roosevelt Rd., Valparaiso (across Roosevelt from the Beef Mart)

$3/adult, chicken, drinks and miscellaneous picnic items, bring a dish to share. RSVP to Julia Young at 219-462-4340.

Tues., August 25 from 10 to 11 a.m.

First floor, turn right inside front entrance.  Pines Village Retirement Communities – 3303 Pines Village Circle, Valparaiso (building behind Whispering Pines Health Care Center, 3301 N. Calumet)

Moderator: Verne R. Sanford.  Eye conditions and diseases and how to live with impaired vision.

We welcome all persons at our meetings, whether or not they have low vision.  For a free door-to-door ride within Porter County and during daylight hours, call the Porter County Aging & Community Services at 219-462-4302 for the legally blind.  50¢ each way for seniors, $1 each way for others.  Phone a week or two ahead.

For more information call the Valparaiso Low Vision Support Group 219-464-1867 or, visit www.valpolowvisionsupport.org

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About Verne R. Sanford

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All opinions, conclusions or recommendations expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Chronicle. Verne R. Sanford, 75, is professor emeritus of mathematics at Valparaiso University. He retired in 1993 and is currently writing his 24th memoir story. He is president of Valparaiso Low Vision Support Group Inc. He and his wife of 52 years, Marie, have five children and 14 grandchildren. Contact him at 219-464-1867, visit www.valpolowvisionsupport.org or e-mail verne.sanford@valpo.edu.

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