Focus on Fathers- A boo-boo needs paternal kiss, not hammer and saw

Written by Dan Moran. Posted in Featured

Published on June 07, 2017 with No Comments

For over 10,000 days, I have held the title of father.  For me, every day is Father’s Day.  My girls and my wife fill my heart and soul with love for each day that I am blessed to share with them.  I have tried many things in my life, succeeded in some and failed in others.  But in my quest to be a good father, I have succeeded far more times than I have failed.

I say this because I have two adult, well-adjusted, loving daughters who became that way because of their Mother and me.  We had no guide book on how to parent, although I read a lot of parenting books over the years that never quite gave answers or procedures for unique moments that presented themselves on a regular basis.  There is such a thing as book-smart, but real-life events quite often force a parent into being street-smart on the run.  There is not always time to consult with what all the professionals have to say about challenges faced as a parent.

A simple example might be a toddler falling and scraping a knee.  Their crying gets our attention. Soap, water and bandages treat the physical wound, but it is the hugs and kisses that take away their fear and pain.  All of us with the title of parent understand this.  It did not take Dr. Spock to tell us that a boo-boo needs a kiss.

I believe, and I can only speak for myself, being there in the moment goes a long way to being a good parent.  Being there with patience and willingness to apologize to a child when we are not successful in being patient…being there to listen…being there to guide and to protect and be a home base that kids can return to…all part of good parenting.  I had to learn that my girls (and my wife) are not always looking for answers.  Men seem to think that we have to solve a problem, check it off an imaginary list, and be ready for the next time Superman is needed.   Sometimes we just have to shut up and listen.  Very hard for me as I am like an action figure…give me a problem and we will fix it, eliminate it, go around it or through it, but I need to act.

I remember being schooled by both of my girls over the years when I would show up with the proverbial hammer-and-saw cause “the fix-it man is in the house” when they let me know that they did not need a “Tool Time With Tim” dad right then.  What they needed was an understanding male figure who could listen, nod his head up and down, right and left, but mostly to shut up…open my heart, and try to feel their pain or fear.  Going to a new school, or breaking up with a boyfriend, or getting a cold shoulder from their BFF’s…they only wanted to think it through, out loud, to a dad, and then get the hug and kiss for their emotional boo-boos.

Megan and Colleen taught me to be a good father.  There was never a question of the love part of it.  The first time I held each in my arms, I knew.  The smell of a freshly diapered and powdered baby (or even a poopy one for that matter) made my chest swell with pride and unconditional joy.  Looking at their little round faces and their big blue eyes was like looking in the eyes of God.  No man could ever “make a baby.”  No woman could ever will themselves into motherhood.  The power of God took all those eager little swimmers and created Megan, and Colleen and me as a Dad and Teri as a Mom.  And we loved it.

We have loved every blessed minute of being a parent, and continue to enjoy the high of the two wonderful kids that blessed our home.  So, Happy Father’s Day to me.  I may get the greeting cards that utter the sentiments of some Hallmark wordsmith signed by my Meg and my Colleen, but a simple look into the blue eyes of my babies from heaven and I know that it is my day on June 18th, and on every day that I am allowed to share with my girls.

So, that is a bit of my story.  It is my sincere wish that every father out there realizes the wonder that has been given to them when their children were born.  To you all, I wish a very Happy Father’s Day.


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