Living or Lived?

Written by ryan. Posted in Uncategorized


Published on April 13, 2011 with No Comments

by Abigail Joseph

Look around … what do you see? How’s the sofa? Does it bring fond memories of a life your living or a life you lived? My sofa is slightly curved and made of beautiful coordinating fabrics and leather. The down pokes through cushions but still hugs and keeps me safe when napped upon.

I love that sofa, but for some reason melancholy is the feeling when glancing across the room. Memories I suppose. Recovered or sold, it begs me to change.

What about a favorite outfit? Are you holding onto the clothes or the memories?

For example, the clothes you were sporting when the news arrived of Betty, second cousin twice removed on your father’s side, passing her drivers exam after the third time, does not make for a memory and therefore saving the garb is not justified.

In other words, if a child coming home from the hospital is involved in the memory, okay, otherwise move it on out!

We all suffer of this attachment disease. For example, my favorite red Phillip Lim 3.1 dress once gave me the memories of dear friends, laughter and love. Since wearing it on a date (note to self, do not wear favorite clothes on dates) the frock will forever be a reminder of an extremely gorgeous and lovely man from South Africa – with an emotional equivalency and dating savvy of an eighth grade school girl.

People pay attention, do not talk about your ex whomever on dates. I wanted to channel Cher in “Moonstruck” and scream, “Snap out of it!” In which case would have been followed by a slap across the face, or is that Naomi Campbell? Either way, now it has to be donated or burned or saged … I’ll try the sage first. After all, it is Phillip Lim.

Spring: intransitive verb; to be resilient. Spring: noun; a time or season of growth or development.

Memories live within us, not in the inanimate objects taking up space in our rooms and closets. Why do we humanize and attach a ‘feeling’ to something that cannot feel?

Little is more freeing than purging the remnants of a life formerly lived. Stop with the ridiculous reasons and pitch the dismal and glum hangers-on already. If not, the more favorable and joyful will never knock at the door.

As Havelock Ellis said, “All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”

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